The question of divorce is admittedly, a difficult question to answer. Now that we have answered it, one would hope that we have gotten through the difficult stuff and the rest will be all downhill and smooth sailing. Unfortunately, that is far from the case. We move, so to speak, out of the frying pan and into the fire, as we approach the question of remarriage. At issue are three things: the revealed will of God, the character of God and the happiness of the child of God. Can those three be harmonized? To that end we now devote our study.

Before dealing with the issue of remarriage and the divorced person, it might be helpful to deal with remarriage in a broader context. Is there ever a time when remarriage is permitted in the will of God? What is the disposition of the couple who have remarried, regardless of whatever God's will for them may have been-does God recognize their marriage as valid or binding? Should couples who have remarried contrary to God's will, then divorce?

The Question of Any Remarriage

To make a blanket statement that remarriage is contrary or according to God's will in all situations is untrue. Without question, there is permission and even promotion in the will of God in some circumstances for remarriage. In Romans 7:1-3, the Apostle Paul uses the marriage relationship to illustrate a relationship that existed between believers under the economy of the Mosaic law and believers under the economy of grace. The essence of those three verses can be summarized as follows:

Two important points need to be emphasized. First, if divorce could negate the binding effects of the marital covenant, then the Old Testament saints could be delivered from the binding effects of the law apart from the death of Christ on Calvary and His fulfillment of the law. This is a soteriological impossibility. Secondly, when a spouse dies, the surviving spouse is free to remarry, that is, he may remarry without consequence. If there were any consequences involved in remarriage, such as the limitation of abilities or standing before God, then remarriage would have a cost and not truly be free.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 builds on the Romans 7:1-3 passage by adding a defining detail and a helpful suggestion. Once again, the apostle states the permanence of the marriage relationship and concludes that the death of a spouse is the only circumstance that permits someone to remarry. But then he adds this detail, "only in the Lord." Without debate, this phrase means that the ones who marry or remarry must both be Christians. We know from 2 Corinthians 6:14 that it is never the will of God that a believer marry an unbeliever. But I believe that this verse goes beyond the limitation of a like faith in Christ. This is suggested by what follows in verse 40. Here Paul adds a helpful suggestion that she may be happier if she remains unmarried. To say with definity what will provide happiness is impossible because every person is different. For some, because of the many years of a previous happy marriage, they could not dream of being with another. For others, because of the years of a happy marriage, they could not dream of being without another. The phrase "in the Lord" must also include what God's will is for that person individually. The question of God's will in remarriage ultimately is the same question of God's will in a first marriage- will the uniting of two together as one make each more productive or capable of accomplishing the will of God in a broad sense in their lives.

Not only is remarriage permitted when a spouse dies, but in some cases it is even promoted. In 1 Timothy 5, the apostle Paul addresses the issue of the care of widows. Paul classifies widows into two categories: widows and widows indeed. The difference between the two is simply the ability of each to be self-sufficient financially. Those that are widows indeed are the ones, who for all practical purposes, are unable to provide for themselves. To these the church or the immediate family bears the responsibility to meet their needs. In verse 11, Paul speaks to the case of a young woman who, while her husband was living, enjoyed a somewhat luxurious lifestyle. Now that her husband has died, the ability to continue in that lifestyle is also gone. Paul says in effect, that if the continuance of that lifestyle is a motivating factor, she will remarry. In verse 14, Paul continues that it is good, then, that younger widows remarry, not to live luxuriously, but that they might bear children, keep a home, and glorify God with their lives. The important point is that remarriage after the death of a spouse is commended in this situation.

So we see that when a spouse has died, in some cases it is good for the surviving spouse to remain unmarried. In other cases it is equally as good for the surviving spouse to remarry. And in some cases, it is better if the surviving spouse remarries. There simply is no blanket statement concerning remarriage after the death of a spouse.

The Question of Remarriage After Divorce

While remarriage may be permissible or even promoted after the death of a spouse, to extend that permission beyond the context of a death of a spouse is unbiblical. It is my conclusion that once a divorce has taken place, the only possible remarriage found in the will of God is a reconciliation of the previous marriage. To many, that statement will run contrary to their understanding of the will of God, to others, the statement will cast a shadow over the mercy of God, and to some, they will simply say that they find it impossible to live with. We now encounter the difficult task of harmonizing in our thoughts, the revealed Word of God, the heart of God and the desire for happiness in the believer's life.

We begin with another look at the teaching of Jesus found in the Gospels. We have already noted that the teaching of Jesus in these passages was in answer to a question of the Pharisees concerning law of Moses. Since the Christian today is not under law, but grace, we can not therefore base our conclusion solely upon the law's dictates. However, we will at least gain an understanding of the restrictions or permissions given in the Old Testament. In both the Mark 10 and the Matthew 19 passages, it is said that a person who divorces and remarries commits an act of adultery in the remarriage. Matthew's Gospel adds the "exception clause", but regardless of that, we see that remarriage after divorce was in most cases prohibited in the will of God.

When we search the New Testament Epistles to determine God's will in this matter for His Church, we find but one passage of Scripture that addresses the issue. It is found in 1 Corinthians 7:25-28. Seemingly, like every other passage, this passage is filled with controversy. We must then, take care that we rightly divide its truth. We first note that the counsel Paul gives in these verses, is counsel that is appropriate for the time in which he wrote the letter. That does not mean that his counsel is not valid today, but only that at the time in which he wrote the letter, there were circumstances that temporarily necessitated his counsel. The present distress is not specifically identified but whatever it may have been either put an undue burden on the marriage relationship or complicated and hindered the person's ability to serve God. The question on the minds of the Corinthians was whether it was necessary or advisable for a person to be married in order to serve God in that period of time.

In verse 27, Paul goes on with his counsel in the form of absolutes. His counsel is that if a person was married, he was to remain married. If a person was "loosed from a wife", he was not to seek marriage. The problem revolves around the phrase "loosed from a wife". Does this mean "one who has not married" or "one who has divorced"? Those who believe in the possibility of remarriage of divorced people would argue for the latter interpretation. And if that interpretation be the correct interpretation, their belief of the opportunity to remarry is well-founded, for verse 28 begins with the declaration that the person who marries does not commit sin in so doing.

There is good reason however, for rejecting the interpretation that this phrase describes a divorced person and does describe a person who has never married. First, the context of the passage indicates that the man was never married. Paul looks at the present distress from the perspective of both men and women. In verse 26 he states, "...it is good for a man..." and in verse 28 he writes, "she hath not sinned." In dealing with the woman, she is specifically called a virgin- one who has never married. Consistency of interpretation necessitates that this is true of the man also or God has given a different standard of holiness to the genders.

There is a more compelling reason to understand that this man who is loosed from a wife is a person who has never married. In verse 25, the Apostle states that the counsel he is giving was not given by commandment of the Lord, but he received it as one who has obtained mercy. What did he mean by that? We must understand that the words he is about to write to the Corinthians were given by inspiration and therefore authoritative and true. They are no less important than the very words spoken by God, Himself. This phrase means that the counsel he is about to give concerns a subject that has never been addressed heretofore by the Lord. In the Matthew 19 and Mark 10 passages, Jesus did address the subject of the remarriage of a divorced person so it is impossible that Paul has this in mind in 1 Corinthians 7. Not only that, but Jesus says that a divorced person who remarries commits sin while Paul says they do not. If the person loosed from a wife in verse 27 refers to a divorced person, then the counsel of Paul is at odds with the teaching of Jesus. The consequences, if this be so, are that either Matthew and Mark are not inspired or 1 Corinthians is not inspired. The inspiration of these three books of the Bible is beyond question, which leaves the only alternative that the phrase can not refer to a divorced person, but one who has not yet married.

Not only would Paul be at odds with the teaching of Jesus in the Gospels, but if this phrase refers to a divorced person, he would have contradicted his own teaching found in verses 10 and 11 where the only options given when divorce has taken place is reconciliation and remaining unmarried. The revealed Word of God simply does not allow the opportunity of the divorced person to remarry as long as the former spouse is living.

Now to harmonize that teaching with the heart of God, which desires to meet the needs of His children. Some will say that the emotions of a divorced person can not be "turned off" once divorce has taken place. Sooner or later, that person might find another, and fall in love again. Would God refuse to allow them the happiness of marriage because of a previous mistake? Will God frustrate the emotions of a divorced person by restricting marriage? Isn't it better to marry, according to the Scriptures, than to burn with passion for another? These are heart-wrenching questions, and there are many times when the heart seemingly says one thing and the head another. When emotions conflict with intellect, it is usually best to side with the intellect. The reason for this can best be understood by the following illustration. Let us liken our emotions to the engine of a car. It is what moves us from one point to another. The intellect can be likened to the steering mechanisms. They guide the direction of the motion. Both are necessary to the proper operating of that car. A car that has engine problems, goes nowhere. The car that has steering problems goes everywhere and 99% of those places are undesirable. If it is necessary to make a choice between going nowhere or going anywhere or everywhere, the safer choice is nowhere. However, your emotions, guided by intellect based on the Word of God, will take you exactly where God would have you to go. We need then, in order to answer the questions of the heart, be guided by sound reasoning and direction from God's Word.

The Scripture does state, "...let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn" (1 Corinthians 7:9b). The questions is, who is "them"? Paul identifies them in verse 8 as the unmarried and the widows. This group does not include those who are divorced. The reason is simple. Marriage is something that can be found in the will of God for those who have never married or are widowed. The burning passion is God-given because the engine of emotion can be guided by the intellect to a place in the will of God. However, since marriage is not the destination that can be driven to in the will of God for the divorced person, the motivating passion can not be considered as coming from God. If it was, then God would be tempting man with sin which James says is impossible (James 1:13). Recognizing the

Man, by God's gracious enablement, is able to do far more in resisting temptation than he often realizes. In my counseling ministry as a pastor, I have had numerous times when I have been asked to help people kick the bad and sinful habit of smoking. I usually begin by asking them if they have ever smoked while attending a worship service. No one ever has. I then ask why. The response is that it is not appropriate to be smoking during the worship service, to which I wholeheartedly agree. If smoking is sinful, and I am convinced it is, then participating in it, especially during times of worship, is wrong. My next question is, does the church building act as some sort of shield against temptation, much like a lead vest against x-rays? The answer is no, of course. Temptations can come at any time and in any place. I then ask how it is that the person was able to resist temptation in the worship service but was not able before and after it. The only answer is, that while they were involved in worship, they recognized that it was wrong to do that which is sinful. My goal then, is to convince them that every moment of every day is to be lived as an act of worship. My point is that while they recognized that the temptations they were experiencing, with all their strong emotions, was not of God, and did not glorify Him, they were able to resist them. They could go on living without their cigarettes and actually participate in worship and be fulfilled by it. So too, the person who has divorced can live and be fulfilled without marriage.

God is a God of infinite mercy and compassion. He does not want His children to exist with gigantic voids in their life. But man can not dictate to God how He must fill any voids. I wish I had a dollar for every time I told God how He must meet a need of mine and He showed me otherwise. We tell God that a person must get married in order to have their needs met, and I honestly believe God says, "No they don't." "I can supply fulfillment in many other ways." I am convinced He does and He will. In the same way that He graciously provided manna that sustained the Israelites for 40 years in the wilderness a couple of thousand years ago, so He will provide all that is necessary today, for His children to pass through their own wildernesses. Let us not be like some of the Israelites, though, who loathed the manna, insisting on what they wanted, and with whom God was displeased.

The Question of The Disposition of the Divorced & Remarried

The final issue that we must deal with is what is the disposition before God of the remarriage of a divorced person. If it is not God's will for a divorced person to remarry, how does God view the relationship when a believer has violated that will and remarried? To answer this question, we need to examine some cases of marriages that violated God's perfect will.

We have already established that God's perfect will in marriage is one man with one woman. We also noted that man, beginning with Lamech, thought he could increase the joy of the marriage relationship by having more that one wife. If God did not see the subsequent marriage relationship as binding, then He could not address the woman in a polygamous relationship as the man's wife. On the other hand, should God address the second or third woman in a marriage relationship as the wife of the man, then He must recognize the marriage as existing and hold each person responsible for it. With this in mind, we turn to the story of King David. After the slaying of Goliath and other victories over the Philistines, King Saul gave his daughter to be David's wife (1 Sam. 18:27). Some time passes and the marriage relationship sours and the two separate. Enter Abigail. Abigail was married to Nabal, an ungodly man. When a dispute in a business arrangement between Nabal and David arose, Abigail interceded and reconciled the men. At this point, David fell in love with her, and after God had stricken Nabal that he died, David married Abigail. Not only did he marry Abigail, but the Bible tells us that he also married Ahinoam (1 Sam. 25:40-43). According to 1 Samuel 25:44, Saul had given Michal, David's first wife, to another man to be his wife which seems to necessitate that David had divorced her, although no such record is given to us in Scripture. Nevertheless, more time elapses and David has the infamous adulterous affair with Bathsheba. After Uriah dies, David takes Bathsheba to be his wife, which Scripture records for us as being displeasing to the Lord (2 Sam. 11:27) Some time passes in which David believes his sins with Bathsheba have been concealed. And they had been, except for One- God. Moving through the prophet Nathan, the Lord confronts David in his sin. Even though David repents and confesses his sin, there is still a consequence to it. Not only would there be continual unrest in his house all the days of his life, but 2 Samuel 12:11 records that the Lord would, "...take thy wives before thine own eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun." It is important to note that God specifically addressed the women David had married as "wives". God then must have recognized an existing marriage relationship with multiple women even though it was never His perfect will that David be married to more than one woman.

There is another similar circumstance found in the New Testament. In John, chapter 4, the Lord Jesus is on His way to Galilee, via Samaria, when He comes into contact with a Samaritan woman at a well. After a discussion about living water, Jesus instructs her to call her husband. She replies that currently she was not married. Jesus affirms the veracity of her statement and adds some interesting commentary. He said that she previously had 5 husbands and apparently she was "living with" a man, but he could not be called a husband. Although we are not specifically told so, it seems most reasonable to believe that of the 5 previous husbands, at least some of the marriage relationships ended by divorce. The probability that all 5 husbands died seems rather slim. If they all did, Jesus might have stated that the woman needed cooking lessons as well as living water. If any of those marriages ended by divorce, then we see that Jesus still viewed a subsequent relationship as a binding marriage relationship in that He called the man her husband.

From these two passages of Scripture, we learn that God views subsequent marriages as binding relationships, regardless of whether those marriages were in His will, and we also learn that God can bring good out of them. From the marriages of David, came Solomon, the next king and author of some of the Old Testament. Despite her past, God used the Samaritan woman to reach a large number of people to be saved. Do not take this statement, though, as a justification for disobedience to the will of God. There is never any justification to disobey God. But when disobedience has taken place, don't think all is lost. Marriages that should not have ever occurred, can, nonetheless, still be lived for the glory of God and accomplish great things for Him.